Owls, cats, and toads
by Mythgirllily
Summary: The Marauders have planned yet another prank. It's large, dangerous, and just crazy enough to give Mcgonagall a headache.


"It's brilliant!"

"It's insanely dangerous."

"That's why you're here."

"Come on Moony, do some research. There has to be a charm somewhere that'll protect us from razor sharp claws."

"I'm just glad Peter remembered the steaks."

In an old broomshed, four teenage boys whispered to each other as they made the final preparations for what they considered one of their best pranks yet. It was a tradition to kick off the term with a prank of some kind and this year was no exception. They charmed, transfigured, and squeezed big things into small spaces for over an hour before parting with promises not to be late.

* * *

When they met again, hours later at Platform nine and three quarters, Sirius was cheerfully dragging a covered cage behind him. It shook ominously and a second year jumped away with a fearful look.

"Silencio," said Remus, casting the spell over the cage.

"Good thinking Moony, we wouldn't want anyone spoiling our surprise after all." said James.

Peter yawned, "I can't wait to see the look on Mcgonagall's face, Dumbledore's too."

"Whatever do you mean Wormtail?" said Sirius, "I'll have you know that my friend here is completely legal."

"And with luck you won't see Dumbledore's face. Unless you want to get caught?" said James.

"'Course not," said Peter crossley, "I could ride in your pocket though."

"Sorry, only one pet per student, and Mindy might get jealous." James gestured to his owl, who hooted happily.

The train whistled and the Marauders packed in their luggage before finding a compartment themselves.

"Good, the charms held" Sirius breathed a sigh of relief as they disembarked the train.

"Don't tell me you were worried?" said James.

"Well if it got out, Lily would never have the chance to be impressed with you, my dear Prongs," said Sirius.

"I think she'll be more impressed when she has a chance to see just how much tolerance for her hexes you've built up," said Remus, "Although it would be hard not to, considering how many times she's done it over the years." Sirius chuckled and James glared at him.

"I'll have you know that she hexed me thirty-two percent less than average last year," said James.

"Really?"

"Yes. Remus helped me calculate it," said James.

"Alright then," said Sirius. "But are you sure you can trust your figures? Sometimes Remus's muggle stuff can be a bit... weird."

"I think it's impressive," said Peter.

"Thank you, Peter," said James, "At least you recognize true brilliance."

The Marauders loaded their cargo onto the carriages with only a small mishap which Peter blamed on thestrals but the other's blamed on one too many cheese sandwiches.

Before long they had arrived at the castle and it was time to release the beast. With a few words the cage was unlocked and a rather groggy tiger emerged. Remus and Peter disappeared to a discreet distance as Mcgonagall approached, violently changing expressions as she took in the scene.

"Potter! Black! What is the meaning of this?"

"Well you see professor, my owl was involved in a rather violent incident when I attempted to send my family a Christmas card and sadly is no longer with us. James here decided to help me get over my grief by finding me a new pet."

"Pet? That is a tiger, Mr. Black."

"Well I wanted a dog, Professor, but the rules said only owls, cats, and toads. Owls reminded me to much of the dearly departed and I'd prefered not to try and keep track of a toad."

"That is not a cat."

"Why Professor, we assumed you of all people would understand. I assure you that Mr. Stripey is most definitely feline and I promise we've taken all the necessary safety precautions ."

Mcgonagall was speechless. A crowd had gathered and was staring at the tiger, who was laying on the floor, lazily twitching its tail.

"Where did you get it?" she asked.

"Mr. Stripey is a he," said Sirius.

Mcgonagall gritted her teeth, "Where did you get him? I hope you had better taste than to steal him from a zoo."

The crowds whispers grew louder and one of the girls shrieked, running away as more students joined in stareing from a safe distance.

"Of course professor," said James charmingly, "I simply transfigured him from one of my old brooms."

"One of your quidditch brooms?" asked Mcgonagall, looking at something behind him.

"Maybe. Why do you ask?"

"Because I thought I'd taught you better than to transfigure things that already contain magic," She took hold of James's shoulder and turned him around so he could see what she, and everybody else, was looking at.

The tiger was floating about ten feet in the air, making lazy swimming motions with it's paws.

* * *

"I can't believe she gave us detention every night for an entire month," complained James. He and Sirius were arm deep in scrub brushes, rags, and trophy polish.

"At least she didn't take away any points, it wouldn't be the first time we've started the year in the negatives," said Sirius.

"I think she did, only Dumbledore added them again," said James. "You do realize what this means don't you?"

"That we have to plan an even more epic prank for next year?"

"Precisely."


End file.
